A glimpse of the future?

I used to sit back and wonder about families and what in the world is wrong with people.  I would think, “What is so hard about the family dynamic between inlaws?”  Well as of today, I no longer wonder what is up with people.  I have always thought that my relationship with the inlaws was not perfect but generally good and without much issue.

 

Let’s just say it came crashing into clear view how hard in-law relationships could be.  

 

Last night, my wife’s mom and significant were over for dinner and an easy paced night, or so we thought. We were watching a video recording of our wedding as it captured to my computer.  Apparently it is a big mistake to allow people to see unedited footage, because all I heard was how bad it was etc. Well of course it is unedited….  I explained several times…..  after the comments became increasingly more negative, I sort of lost it and told the significant what the real deal was.  Opps!!!  My bad!!!

 

That was a big opps on my part.  That little mistake on my part, was to say the least, a launch pad to be land blasted by the inlaws about how disrespectful I have always been to them and that they pretty much hate my guts.

 

To which my wife and I sat in amazement as neither of us expected to hear such from their mouths.  We have spent hours with them over the past 14 months and have bent over backwards to try and make them feel like we weren’t going to shut them out of our lives once we were married.  

 

We have spent hours setting up back yard furniture – all of which needed to be assembled – and other items for them – which I thought was appreciated at the time and probably was.  I never realized or had any inclination that they thought we were being disrespectful.  I guess we were disrespectful when we setup those items and it was obviously disrespectful to help them do the things we did.

 

I realized by many of their comments, that they were jealous or hurt by the fact that I have close relationships with other people in my life, but not as close to them.  I felt that they were basically saying they don’t understand why I am not as close to them as I am to such and such or so and so.

 

Well, I don’t know exactly why either, but I can tell you being land-blasted in my own house isn’t going to increase my family bond with them either.  I know that they desire to be close with me, I can appreciate that desire, but I also realize that it is something that is going to take time.

 

Further, I know that it is going to require much patience on my part as we endure this process.  My biggest desire is to see this all resolve and be a good relationship.  I just never realized how hard it really is going to be.